I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
