new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize