i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
