You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
