If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
