The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
