it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
