And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
