Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
