im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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