I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
