Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
