Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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