Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
