dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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