he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
