The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
