Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
