Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
