i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
