I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Randomize
