____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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