Will you blow on my dice?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize