I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
