Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I understand Curling. That high.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
