Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
