do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
