no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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