Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize