he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
