i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
