I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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