is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
