I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
