Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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