toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
