K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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