OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
