Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
