When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize