____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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