first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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