It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
