We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
