You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
