there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
