she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
