Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
