Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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