I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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