I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
