i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
