Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
