is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
