Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
