Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
