Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
