I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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