I hate all girls vehemently.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
my liver is dry heaving
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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