apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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