Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
