So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
