sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
