is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
