my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
